I Am Commanded to Love Them!

Some issues that currently being debated in the media often result in individuals expressing their opinion based upon their religious perspective. Rights for gays and lesbians and particularly legalization of marriage for gays and lesbians have brought forth vocal opposition from individuals characterized as "evangelical" or "conservative" in their religious affiliation.

I grew up in the "evangelical" religious tradition and spent many years of my adulthood heavily involved in the same, so I believe I understand where these individuals are coming from. The comments coming from such individuals vary in attitude and intensity: from those who politely express reservation to others who use cruel epithets in referring to gays and lesbians. It would be unfair to lump these all into one.

I have heard spokespersons from conservative religious organizations speak heatedly about how these individuals (gays, lesbians, or the "liberal media who advocates for them") are trying to corrupt our culture, destroy the home, defy god, etc. On several occasions I have heard such individuals pause mid-sentence to say, "Yes, I love them, because I am commanded in the Bible to love them" and then continue their diatribe against such individuals.

This has caused me to ponder what is meant by loving someone in this manner. It is true that there are commands in scripture to love others whom we may not find all that lovable, e.g. enemies, our neighbors, spouses :-), even those who hate us! So, to love is not just to hope a feeling comes upon us, rather it is to will ourselves love someone. But how would such love look?

The above mentioned comments (I love them, because I am commanded to love them) seem to be merely a verbal statement of love, but one that seems contradicted by attitude and action. What of a parent who says "I love you" to children but then abuses or neglects them? How about a husband who says "I love you" to his wife, but is callous to any of her desires, needs or viewpoints? All would agree that such a statement of love is really worthless.

An adage that is often cited by religious people is, "We are to love the sinner, but hate the sin." (by the way, this phrase is not in the Bible). Sometimes it seems that individuals use this as an excuse to make very harsh and hateful statements that really do not differentiate between sin and sinner. I am reminded that when a crowd was about to stone to death an adulterous woman, Jesus, rather than attacking the behavior of the woman, instead reminded the crowd that they had all made mistakes (sins) and that they should not condemn her.

There appears to be a lack of empathy on the part of some who stridently address some of these issues in current society.  How many times have we have heard of a prominent parent who, upon learning that their own child is gay, has changed his or her view on the issue?  Apparently, truly loving someone means that we cannot escape putting ourselves in their shoes and attempting to feel what they feel.   Such a process can lead to a radically different outlook and attitude.

I am sure that some, even many who express that they love gays or lesbians because they are commanded to, are sincere.  I hope that this love will be taken beyond mere words and will also change attitudes.

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