Recently an adolescent was brought into my counseling office for therapy. The teen had just been released from a local hospital after being hospitalized following a suicide attempt. I noted by his appearance and name that he belonged to one of the minority ethnic groups that are common in the multi-ethnic area where I live. This particular ethnic group is one that is often mentioned when discussions of 'un-documented' immigrants come up.
Because individuals of this ethnic designation in this region tend to be of low socio-economic status, they are quite visible in the community, using public transportation, walking or riding bicycles. There is a somewhat natural tendency to categorize people based on some outward characteristic, e.g. skin color, physical characteristics, etc. Had I seen this young man prior to his coming to my office, I would likely have viewed only a 'group' of those particular kind of youth, not him as an individual.
I have a box of assorted buttons in my office that I sometimes use to help clients describe themselves. I dump the buttons on the table and ask the client to take their time and select a button that represents him or herself. There are buttons of all sizes, shapes, colors and textures. Some plain, others more ornate. This only works after children have reached a level of cognitive functioning that allows them to understand the concept of one thing representing another. A seven-year-old will probably just pick a red one and say, "I picked this one because it is my favorite color." But, beginning in adolescence, most individuals begin to think more abstractly and can find some aspect of a button to convey their concept of themselves.
Taking his time my client chose one of the larger and more ornate buttons, not the typical round kind. Pleased with his choice, he placed the button on the table and looked up at me. "Why did you choose that one?" I asked. His reply; "because it is one of a kind." A pang of sadness came over me as I thought that to some people, even to me, he might merely have been one of scores of individuals, often lumped together due to some arbitrary categorization. Indeed, he is one of a kind, with his own dreams, hopes, fears, and yes . . . sadness.
If we do not know a person, have never heard them share what they think and desire, it is much easier to dismiss this person as unimportant or even an object of derision. But, once we have dared to open ourselves to the "human-ness" of another, no matter how different from ourselves, we are presented with the opportunity to forever view that person through new eyes, as deserving of every consideration that we afford ourselves.
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